Um, no, no I had not.
But the notion wasn't bad. In fact, I feel like I talk to the Universe all the time. Funny that I somehow left out that I was looking for something new that maybe, you know, the Universe could help with. A little. So I did. I point blank asked the Universe to show me something that would be true and good for me.
Aaand, I landed back at yoga by way of a re-commitment of sorts to...committing.
Admittedly, I have been adrift in a sea of new possibility. Not adrift in the romantic, castaway sense. Adrift like tattered, freezing, and my raft is coming apart with each second. This feels like gritty, nasty adrift. It's unsettling.
[Sidebar: what's going on with the dogs recently? I've never heard barking like I have the past couple days....is it a full moon? Seriously...I love dogs but there's a limit. End of sidebar].
Alright, the other problem with being adrift is that you're working only on survival. Stress is high for no apparent reason. Fear rules the day. There is no plan. There is only chaos. And scattered thoughts while you grasp at straws.
So, right after making my grand request to the Universe, an add for a pen-and-paper calendar/planner popped up that appealed so much to me it almost made me cry. It's built around the idea of 30 day projects. Now, one might say, "Katie, that's...a calendar." Right, yes, I know. 30 days does a month make. But this felt revolutionary to me in two distinct ways. First, I hadn't thought much about it up until that point but writing words on paper feels much more real than writing things on a calendar in my phone. That's fake planning. I can change that it 2 seconds with a swipe of the delete key. Pen, though, requires scratching out and a permanent reminder that a different plan than "lay on my couch all day playing games" once existed. And it was better than the couch plan. Second, it's taken those convenient pre-existing 30-day months and made them into distinct containers for finite projects. This is one of those things that appeals solely because the last project I took on was a seemingly never ending 6 year nightmare. You forget that you can do practically anything for 30 days and that's the only expectation out there.
So, the calendar showed up at my door today and I picked it up on my way out this morning. Since then, I've been thinking about it. And it reignited my question to the Universe: "So now that I've got 9 months worth of 30-day projects, what should I do?" I then proceeded to have not such a great day and, frankly, felt pretty terrible upon arriving home tonight. In search of something that made me feel better, I casually asked the Universe, "What should I do that would make me feel better?"
Lo and behold, the answer was yoga. And I did a practice that was way too hard (ironically or not called perseverance). I did persevere which is all I needed to worry about there. Job done. And of course, I feel so much better [EXCEPT FOR THIS EFFING DOG BARKING]. And it made the think while I was lying in savasana, "Why not make this your first 30 day project?"
Done.
So I'm gong to do yoga and then I'm going to write about whatever comes up. I'm committing to it for 30 days. Let's see what happens.
No excuses.
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